Preheat the oven: Set to 350°F (175°C). Grease a 9x13-inch baking dish.
Make the sauce: In a small bowl, whisk mayonnaise, sugar-free ketchup, relish, mustard, vinegar, onion powder, smoked paprika, and a pinch of sweetener if using. Taste and adjust.
Set aside.
Brown the beef: Heat a large skillet over medium-high. Add a drizzle of oil, then the onion and a pinch of salt. Cook 3–4 minutes until softened.
Add garlic for 30 seconds, then add ground beef. Break it up and cook until browned. Drain excess fat if needed.
Season the beef: Stir in salt, pepper, smoked paprika, and onion powder.
Add half of the special sauce and a handful of chopped pickles. Simmer 1–2 minutes to coat and thicken slightly.
Whisk the custard: In a mixing bowl, beat eggs, heavy cream, and softened cream cheese until mostly smooth. A few small bits are fine.
Season lightly with salt and pepper.
Assemble the casserole: Spread the beef mixture evenly in the baking dish. Pour the egg-cream mixture over the top. Sprinkle with shredded cheddar.
Add sesame seeds if using.
Bake: Place in the oven for 20–25 minutes, until the center is set and the edges are bubbly. The top should be lightly golden.
Rest and top: Let the casserole rest 5–10 minutes so it slices cleanly. Drizzle or dollop the remaining special sauce over the top.
Add shredded lettuce, more pickles, and diced tomatoes if you like.
Serve: Cut into squares and serve warm with extra sauce on the side.